Hi, it's probably no surprise that yeah, I'm not doing that great. But I figure I'd make a whole post talking in more detail about it, cause I don't know where else to plaster these feelings and I'd rather not burden my friends with what I'm feeling, much less randos in a server.
So what better way than to 500+ of ya.
First things first, I've made it a sort of mini resolution to cut my stupid fucking humor out. If you know, you know, but if you don't... It tends to get "weird" or "cursed" or whatever. At this point I feel it's become a part of me to be "weird" or "cursed", but frankly...
I don't like it. I don't want to be known for this, and I don't want to drive people away from me because I'm stupidly eccentric, and frankly, it's just try hard.
So, I'm working on that. It'll hurt when people say "FINALLY" or say that I was too much, but that's just how it is, you know. Maybe people, even my friends, will like me better, but I doubt it because there's a lot more I could work on about myself. Like stopping myself from being an opinionated asshat, or info dumping about my stupid fucking hyperfixations.
That's not the only thing that's been bugging me, but having a slight popularity has been a thing I've been struggling with.
Because, outside of being good to decent at music... who am I? Except some boring guy who plays video games and lives on pennies, and doesn't go out much. It's something I tend to realize when I talk to people in DMs or in VCs when I go in.
"Hey how was your day?"
"Oh I just ate and played video games."
Then the response to that varies. I've looked back at all that and realized just... how boring I actually am, and I want to change that so badly, I want to be able to say that I went out and did something, or this or that.
...but I can't really force myself to Instagramify my life.
So I feel having this kind of "popularity", tends to oversell myself to you all, or even push people away from talking to me too, just because of my numbers. I'm... Just like anyone of you, and I don't mind getting DM'd at all, it's not a bother, and even then I'd let you know if it was.
Of course I appreciate every single one of you, so please don't take this as me saying "FUCK YOU ALL YOU'RE RUINING MY LIFE!!!" because that's far from how I feel, I love you all.
Anyways, I have plenty more on my mind, but I feel that's too much for anywhere really. These are just the biggest things that's been plaguing me that I wanted to talk about.
I promise the next news post will be something more than me whining, something a bit more jolly, hopefully I announce something maybe...
I just needed to let this all out.
Follow the rhythm, not the algorithm.
-Tritnew
P.S.: A pal doodled Yume and Blimbo, check it out!
MasterHand4444
Appreciate the vulnerability, Trit. I and many others will be cheering you on as you take this journey of self improvement. You got this dude!